He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
