Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
