And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just googled if crying burns calories
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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