i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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