I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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