i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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