We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
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