Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
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Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
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