hotel room ftw
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize