Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
