how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
