I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
