Whod you bang
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
