Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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