Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
false alarm, still single
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