oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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