So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
