I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize