"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
