I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
