He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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