They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
