Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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