he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
