goodnight i made you a song goodbye
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
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You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
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This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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