I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
