i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
