Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
