no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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