i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
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If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize