i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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