We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
