i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
i think my cat just said my name.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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