Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
