I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
