I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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