It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize