ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
