I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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