Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
