Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
