I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
