Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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