I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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