So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Drunk is not a location!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
