Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
