...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
