I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
