fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
