my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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