you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
