omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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