But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
