Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
