we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
