You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
