There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just blew my weed a kiss
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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