i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
