It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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