Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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