my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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