I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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