I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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