I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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