you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
